There is beauty in the union of Adam and Eve and there is bliss when he first sees her and realizes they go together and that God has provided someone for him. But that goes awry when Satan enters the picture. Satan very craftily breaks down the bliss of Eve’s marriage with the use of his words. And then Adam blames Eve for their being excluded from the garden and marriage problems begin.
It’s the same with us. When sin enters the picture, there is brokenness. Our minds become clouded about how we see our relationship. And our society warps our views of what marriage can be.
How can I sharpen my view of marriage:
1. Admit that Satan’s lies blur my vision. We are very influenced by our culture, to the point that we’re almost destined for failure - not just marriages that end in divorce, but those that live together but apart.
a. Lie #1- love is a magical feeling and there is a special someone out there for us with whom we will live happily ever after with. That is not reality. The reality is that arranged marriages are happiest. Statistics prove that. The reality is that love is a choice, it is not a feeling. We have to choose to love one another. Infatuation gives way to real life.
b. Lie #2- kids come before the marriage. It sounds great, sounds self-sacrificing but putting your children first will ruin your marriage. There were no children in the garden. There are no children in Song of Solomon. Children are great but they do not come before your spouse.Lie c. #3- sex is better outside of marriage. That is a lie. Sex outside of marriage is disastrous. We are in a hook-up culture, one with a warped sense of what love is.
d. Lie #4- marriage is about happiness, you deserve to be happy. Yes, God wants us to be happy, but in real life we aren’t happy all the time even when we do the right things.
The reality is that marriage is the oneness that God desires us to have, the ability to mimic God’s redemptive love, to model Christ’s love for His bride. Marriage is where the gospel is lived out most clearly in human relationships. We see each other’s brokenness, not only do we love, we seek healing for one another. We are to love one another in a way that is sacrificial.
Satan hates everything that is good. He wants us to be selfish, to be self-centered, to want what we want. And our culture reinforces that. All forms of entertainment feed what Satan wants us to believe.
2. Admit that Gods plan is what truly brings fulfillment. If we do things God’s way, we will have long lasting fulfillment. And that will help us realize what it will be like to live with God for eternity.
3. So what are some things we can do to have this kind of marriage: (it's time to apply the lesson, emphasis me)
1. Stop hiding from one another, admit to openness. Gen 3. Marriages thrive when we live the gospel with one another, when we can see struggles within the other person and choose to love them anyway. Be real with your spouse.
2. Seek to understand and to honor. 1 Pet 3 gives instructions to both husbands and wives. Wives, be submissive to your husbands, let your adornment be the hidden person of the heart. Husbands, live with her in an understanding way, honor her, treat her with care, look upon her as something valuable. Women, you know what kind of man you want your son to be. How do you want your future daughter-in-law to treat him when he struggles? Treat your husband that same way. Same goes for fathers with daughters and wives. What is one way you can show more honor and respect to your spouse in 2020? Assignment: Come up with one way and do it.
3. Serve and grow together. Acts 18, 2 Tim 4. Be like Aquila and Priscilla. Paul mentions them in 2 Tim 4, just mentions them, 30 years after we learn about them in Acts 18. They were committed to grow and to serve together. What can you and your spouse do to serve and grow together in 2020? Find a way and be on the same path.