1 Cor. 7:32-34.
The best place to start, whether married or not, is to be right with the Lord. Prior to marriage we should be developing ourselves by giving our attention to the things of God, not fixating on superficial relationships. There are no verses in the Bible about dating, none. This is a modern day creation. Just because this is how we have always done it doesn’t make it wise. Modern dating comes with serious problems. This period of time should be used to gain clarity, not intimacy. Intimacy in youth leads to serious, unnecessary heartache.
“Dating is a fun way of finding a new person and letting them completely destroy you emotionally. “. (From a demotivational Calendar).
Here is a verse to consider:
“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem….that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. ” (SOS 2:7). The right place for infatuation is within marriage. It is not something to be awaked and cultivated in the teen years.
Back to our theme from the year from Matt. 6:33. We should be seeking first the kingdom when it comes to preparing ourselves for marriage. Last time we discussed the dangers of confusing infatuation with love. The reality is we have feelings and we have to know how to handle them. To deny this reality is foolish, but to pretend like we can’t help how we act is also foolish. As christians it is our responsibility to test our desires and control our thoughts.
Today let’s consider how we will view marriage if our priority is God’s ways.
It I take marriage seriously:
1. I will commit to my own spiritual development. We will have feelings, that’s a given. What we need is preparation beforehand, as Paul talks about in 1 Cor. 7. When we are single that time of life needs to be focused on building ourselves spiritually. Is our foundation self serving or is it serving God? Marriage can divide our attention away from God if we aren’t prepared.
2. I will value its permanence and purpose. Eph. 5 is a good place to go to see what God’s plan is for marriage. Marriage is a covenant. Friendships come and go but our marriage is lifelong. God wants us to be one flesh, to be brought together in unity.
3. I will contemplate all aspects of marriage, even questions that may be difficult to discuss. How will we handle conflict, for example. You have one chance to get this right. Is the person I am in love with committed to a lifetime with me? What do they think about medical issues? What about jobs that require travel? How many kids do they want? What about their family? And, most importantly, do they share my religious beliefs? Many more questions. The point of dating is to gain clarity. Do you want a kingdom first marriage or are you just out to please yourself?
Love is a choice. It is not just a reaction, nor just feelings. You choose whom you love. This is the most important earthly relationship you will have. A careful, prayerful decision needs to be made. It’s a commitment to a sacrificial, selfless relationship.
Sermon by Brent Moody
