(The sermon contains a lot more information and references to scientific research watch here).
We fight an uphill battle in the world we live in with messages about marriage that are not in line with what God has taught. The world constantly pushes lies about love that are harmful and dangerous. What the world believes to be love is actually infatuation. We need to know the distinction. Infatuation is an involuntary feeling that does not have to be acted upon. Love is a choice. Too many people have married someone believing they were “the one,” or “it feels right,” or “it was love at first sight.” The problem is all such concepts are foolish measures by which to get married. There is not just one person for us out there. This is fantasy. If we marry because “it feels right” now, this may end poorly when it doesn’t feel right anymore. Love at first site is a neurological phenomenon that happens reputedly in our lives, but we rarely stop to think about it. Even as early as 5 years old we can see someone and immediately be infatuated with them. The feelings are special, but the situation is not unique. 
Jesus says “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you” (Matt. 6:33). We hear this verse applied in a variety of settings in life. Be careful what career you choose or where you go to college, who your friends are because the kingdom needs to be first. Is marriage an exception? I have regularly heard people say something to the effect of “you can’t say it is a sin to marry a non believer.” These seems a poor measure when it comes to deciding a spouse for the rest of your life.
Marriage may actually may be the most important application we could make to this verse. It is the most important earthly relationship we will have. Why is it that we would relegate this decision to the realm of “you can’t say it is sinful.” Infatuation clouds our thinking and we are not basing decisions in reality, but fantasy. When we are infatuated we really believe we can make the worst of situations actually work out.
It is important that we choose a godly foundation prior to feelings of infatuation: We can either choose a foundation of sacrifice and commitment or one of self service. Sacrifice and commitment are about fulfillment and serving God. Serving self is about vanity and pleasure.
Infatuation does not equal love. The confusion is dangerous. Love is much bigger than infatuation, much deeper. Infatuation has a shelf life – typically 6-12 months. It only exists for a short period of time and then it’s gone.
Infatuation is like mental illness. “Realize that you are essentially mentally ill while in the throes of this level of passion. You idealize this person to make them the kind of person you want them to be. You’re living through a fairly predictable and observable neurochemical reaction – and everyone around you knows it. Understand what is going on in your head and don’t lose your mind. Infatuation impedes your ability to objectively discern your partners faults.”
Samson an example. Judges 14:2-3. “I saw one of the daughters of the Philistines … get her as my wife…. For she is right in my eyes.” His story is really about how his eyes deceive him.
David another. 2Sam. 11:2-5. The story of Bathsheba. David makes a foolish choice based upon his emotions.
Solomon maybe the saddest example of all. 1 Kings 11:1-4. Solomon loved many foreign women.. they turned his heart from God, he left his foundation. He was a man who loved God and he threw that away.
1 Cor. 13:4-7 is a description of what REAL love is.
Love, not infatuation, weathers storms. There will be difficulties, in every marriage. Real love will help you through those hardships.
Sermon by Brent Moody
